Sail Away

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Posts by Sail Away

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  14

  How Long Out Before They leave You Alone

  by tepidpoultry in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  many years ago i met an older man in the ministry who told me he was a baptized jw years ago, when i met him he was an alchoholic and had girlfriends, i told the elders, two came by and they told me to treat him as a regular worldly guy, my question is (i know this is a fuzzy area) about how much time needs to go by before someone (me for instance) would be looked upon as a non jw worldly person?.

  :0).

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  Sail Away

  For me it was 5 months of daily attempts at contact-- email, voicemail, visits, drive bys, notes in the door, text messages, letters, notes and crayon drawings from children. I ignored every. single. one. And then dead silence until the next Memorial when I received an invitation in the door. I was home. They didn't even knock.

  A couple of years later I freaked out when a two-elder hit squad showed up on my door step with the new 'silver sword'. I have PTSD. Enough already. I sent a letter of resignation by way of my lawyer. I like boundaries. I am happy to exchange pleasantries should we cross paths in town, but no random visits in any official capacity. I threatened to sue them if they announced my name from the platform. Apparently they took me at my word. Still no public shunning.
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  16

  Fatherless Boys

  by JW_Rogue in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  the wt teaches that "fatherless boys" need special care and attention in the congregation.

  however, as brought out at the rc their definition of "fatherless boys" includes boys that have actual fathers who maybe very well qualified to teach and raise their sons.

  according to wt, if either of your parents aren't jws then you are a "fatherless boy.

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  Sail Away

  I often wondered what I might say to the elder that took on my son as his "fatherless boy" project. For years I had a few choice words for him. Now, should we cross paths, I will thank him for being the man who set my son free.

  You see, my son was hurt, lonely and afraid about a year after he was DF'd. He thought it best to return to the fold. This arrogant a**h***e ripped my son up one side and down the other for bringing shame upon him personally (not god or the congregation). He used hurtful and vile words. Now my son will never return.

  Thank you, Eric. I hope you find freedom one day.
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  16

  JW Grandparent Drama

  by What Now? in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  my mom and sisters have not had any contact with my family for the past year and a half.. we even recently announced a new pregnancy and none of them acknowledged it or called to say congratulations or anything.. this past week my non-witness grandfather passed away and i had thought that for the sake of his death and funeral, it being "necessary family business" that they would at least be civil in front of our other family.

  all of them still ignored me, my sisters didn't even speak to my children at all - to be honest i don't think my kids even knew who they were.

  for the sake of my grandmother i made a small attempt at the end of the day to say goodbye to my mother and she kind of just brushed past me and said goodbye without really looking at me.. anyways my grandmother told me later that my mom spoke to her and said "i love my daughter and i love my grandchildren and i'm so upset that she won't allow me to see them".

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  Sail Away

  I feel like anyone that wants to be in my children's life needs to at least be civil with me at the very least. I also don't want my children to see this and think it's a normal way for a parent child relationship to be.

  Is this unreasonable?

  Reasonable, rational and sane, What Now?

  As ToesUp said, "Respect is earned."
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  15

  Baptized at a young age, homeschooled, and pioneered ...

  by Wild_Thing in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  and all of this by the time i was 14. i was the youngest person in my pioneer school.

  was anybody else in the trenches (to this degree) at such a young age?.

  i look back on it now and marvel at how isolated i was.

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  Sail Away

  stuckinarut25 hours ago5 hours ago

  Too bad it will bite them in the back side when these kids get older

  Finkelstein4 hours ago4 hours ago

  She wasn't stupid, just uneducated.

  Yes that's an important thing to say, just because a child is home schooled doesn't mean they are stupid but only uneducated on many things, they tend to have a restrained or repressed intellect.
  

  Not always so. We home schooled our daughter through 11th grade. She graduated top in her 12th grade class and received a 75% scholarship to four years at a private college, graduated sumaa cum laude, earned her teacher's certification and now teaches 5th grade in an international school overseas.

  Our son owns his own marine rigging business and employs three people. We home schooled him through eighth grade. He went on to graduate with honors from a marine studies magnet school in spite of profound dyslexia. He didn't go to college and is still a success in business just like his parents.

  Best not to make assumptions or sweeping generalizations.
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  51

  Did you ever have a discussion with an apostate that helped your journey out.

  by jwfacts in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  there seems to be a number of different ways that apostates try to get jehovah's witnesses realise they do not have the truth, ranging from subtle comments to aggressive attacks.

  do you have any that looking back helped you finally leave.

  some of the methods include:.

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  Sail Away

  This:

  "or did you make your mind up to leave prior to becoming aware of any "apostate" information?"

  It took me about six weeks to weigh all the information I had to consider after 42 years of being an all-in JW, and I simply walked away.

  Then I read JWFacts, Crisis of Conscience and The God Delusion by Dawkins, all in about two weeks, confirming my decision to choose family over religion was right.
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  13

  Elder Told A JW To Ignore Governing Body Advice

  by pale.emperor in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i had an interesting conversation with a fellow ex-jw yesterday.

  for the sake of this post lets call her "katie".

  katie is a former pioneer who suddenly stopped attending meetings and managed to be left alone by the elders.

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  Sail Away

  Shunning was my tipping point. I never shunned except for an arrogant COBE's son who called me to let me know there would be an announcement, but he would be back in a year. Turns out he embezzled funds from his JW boss's business AND the KH collection box. I was fine with shunning him, because he essentially gave the go ahead and should have gone to jail. He was back in a year.

  My daughter walked away when she was 17. Stopped going to meetings cold and "respectfully declined" a shepherding call. My son acted out when his JW wife left him and was subsequently DF'd. My son and daughter both committed the same "sins".

  I was told that I could still have a relationship with my daughter, because she hadn't been DF'd and hadn't been disciplined by Jehovah. She would have to straighten things out when she returned. I guess YHWH didn't love her enough.

  Another elder said I could still visit my son, because of concerns for his mental health. He told me, "just don't talk about it with the friends". This same elder and his wife maintained an amicable relationship with their DF'd daughter. I told him I wasn't about to be a hypocrite. The teaching was that I should have no contact with my son, and that wasn't to going to happen.

  I couldn't wrap my brain around this level of crazy. I told him I wasn't about to go to meetings and pretend I was shunning my son when I wasn't. Now I'm here.
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  37

  Which Watchtower publications did you keep?

  by Schnufti in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  i'm currently cleaning up our bookcase and need to decide what goes into the trash.

  i'll keep the watchtower books that are not available online anymore (e.g.

  the brown "reasoning" book).

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  Sail Away

  All donated to a cult awareness library.
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  32

  At This Point In Time How Would You Feel If You Were Disfellowshipped?

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  before my mother's death, it would have impacted me.

  now , i wouldn't care..

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  Sail Away

  I resigned for my husband's sake. He wanted to keep some semblance of a relationship with his parents. There is no relationship. My father-in-law tolerates a call now and then. I sent photos of their brand new great grandson-- no response. Maybe MIL died? Hard to know for sure-- haven't seen them in over 5 years. My JW "friends" don't initiate contact, so I return the favor. Six years out, and I just don't care.
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  22

  Do You Miss The "Red Dot"?

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  lol ...if you are new here, you might not understand the question..

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  Sail Away

  Absolutely miss the red dot--please "reinstate" it!
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  46

  How many years did you waste away in the Org?

  by Tallon in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  in my case; 27 years.

  7 of which were as a ministerial serpent ... sorry, i mean 'servant' ;).

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  Sail Away

  42 years in-- From age 10 until 52 years old